Monster
by Sylla Shadowfrost
Summary: I've never felt so horrible in my life. God's help me, I truly am a monster. Oneshot angsty drabble.Mild swearing


One of my drabbles on one of my D&D characters. Enjoy.

Oh god help me I can't believe this is really happening. To me of all people. I've been on my since the beginning. I never had someone truly close to me. The elves in Linhar forest were teachers and comrades nothing more, nothing less. Spirits and Percy are good friends. It's understandable though, that I'm not trusted or is close to me. I'm a complete and total freak of nature. A raksasha- One of the most hated/feared creatures on this plain, and maybe some other plains. They destroy, kill, maim and torture. For the fun of it. But I'm not like that. Really, I'm not. OK, OK, I'll admit, I'm not some pole suck up the ass paladin. But I'm not evil, no, never. Some, I'm an outcast in both clicks of good and evil, and not trusted by the neutral group because of what I am. I'm a freakin Raksasha for the God's sake. I should enjoy the fear that I bring when I walk into a village, I should laugh as my enemies beg for mercy in the battlefield.

I should. But I don't.

I hide my face or alter m form when I walk into a village, so not to draw attention to myself. I'm not proud of what I am. But I'm not going to go around saying I'm sorry for who I am. I don't laugh at my opponents as they die. I kill them quickly and get it over with.

I even killed a dying ogre that came damn close to killing me, because it asked me to. It spoke, yeah, I know, their dumber than hell, but some can speak. I don't enjoy torturing the innocent. The ogre had a better death by my hand then its master's. Quick and practically painless.

And even though Spirits is my friend, I know that somewhere deep inside him, he hates me with all his heart. Can you blame him though? His whole tribe, his family was slaughtered before his eyes. By my cousins and… look, I never really told Percy and Spirits, but I think that they figured it out. To make this a little clearer, I'll start at the beginning of this brief story.

A while ago, we (Percy Spirits and I) returned to Linhar Forest. I wanted to visit my teacher again. We got into a mixed up series of accusations going between the human's in a nearby village that the Linhar Forest Elves protect. There was a long story about why, I don't remember. I hated history. There was a disciple of Nuril in the village claiming that the elves were trying to kill them, the elves though since I was a Raksasha that I had brought the evil with me. We got I all sorted out eventually, and confronted a large group of Nuril's desciples heading towards Spirits homeland, the Valley of the great City. Don't ask about that, it's WAY to long of a story for me to tell. Plus, I don't want anymore people coming there. I don't like lots of people. Period. We fought the band, Percy killing half of them. Seriously, don't get in the way of his ax, your head WILL be removed from your body. Spirits got into a gruesome fight with the leader of the band, a Raksasha who he remember from the raid on his people. Spirits nearly died in the fight, the idiot. I ended up in the fight, and I don't remember who killed the Raksasha, me or Percy's pet polar bear. I think it was me. Now, thinking on is, I'm sure I did.

I never felt so horrible in my life. I hated him I hated him with all my heart. Yet it was all I could do not to cry. I never felt so.. god I can't even describe it. I hated everything. Myself- Everyone- everything.

I had killed my own father.

God's above I really am a monster.

Percy…. He's a little harder to explain. I love him to death, he's like my big brother. He can be so kind and understanding, and surprising for a minatour, Patent when I have my…..explosions. But honestly, sometimes I want to kill him. Sure, he's not evil either, and he should be, that's not my point. No body messes with him, he ten foot with a big ass great ax that he carries with one hand.

Me? Nationally know, most of the time hated my species is. I'm average height, so I'm not intimidating a all. Most people aren't too scared if you reveal you're a sorcerer, unless you actually attack them. I carry a long sword, a long bow, and a sling. Not really scary. On top of it all.. I'm female. So yeah, I don't really have much going for me do I?

No one really close to me, and on top of that all, I think I might…. Like…someone. Look, it's not like I'm in love with him or anything. He name.. god I can't even pronounce his name. Leh, is what I'm gonna call him. He's funny in some ways. He showed up a year or so ago, out of no where. He's pretty cool, I guess, but he always calls me madam and it drives me crazy. I don't even know how to explain it. He's sort of the wild card and depends on what mood I'm in to tell you what he's like. God I was worried about him when I accidentally collapsed And underground hall. I got out by a teleport spell, but he didn't come out with us. Spirits was furious at me. I shrugged it off my, god I was worried about him.

Well we found him, he was prisoner in a Drow colony a few miles from the underground city, About a week later. Heh, my life had yet to go a whole week with out something eventful going on.

But, I know that I can't love. I'm not capable of it. I simply can't. Because you see…

Monsters can love.

And this monster… no matter how many friends or companions she has….is truly alone.

Heh, lame, I know. This is a random drabble about my character in D&D. All of the events, places and people actually happened to my character, and the characters are my brother and Dad's. The places also were made up by the three of us, so no stealing. Look, I just needed to post something. Flames will be used to cook marsh mellows and other foods.

Shadowed ice


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